A detailed look at children and what they need to be happy…and whole.
I grew up thinking that being a child meant you were told to sit down and do the right thing — even if the right thing meant sitting in your seat quietly while the teacher talked because if you asked to go to the bathroom, you’d be yelled at profusely.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child. I played like a child. I even thought like a child – childish things, like rainbows and muddy puddles. These days our children are growing up in the age where they know more about love and hip hop then they do about Lion King and Mufasa.
I have done a lot of thinking on the souls of children. I have taken the time to tell each one of them about what I see in them and I have found that even in the midst of this weird human experience, kids have souls too — and their souls need to be fed.
It’s a strange concept to visualize but one that is very simple to grasp. Kids are like human adults, they need things to survive. Healing, creativity, community, love, and most of all, they need to feel fulfilled in order to feel worthy.
I work with elementary school students. In case you aren’t familiar, that’s age 5 to 11ish, depending on the grade and date of birth and and what they’ve been doing academically for the past five years. I work with elementary school kids who know right from wrong and can pretty much tell you everything you need to know about hip hop artists of the time.
But what our kids don’t know, is who the lost fish on Finding Nemo is. Or how many dwarfs Snow White had. Or who gave Sleeping Beauty the apple. They don’t know kid stuff. Or things I would consider to be kid stuff. They didn’t know who Elsa was. or who the sad donkey is that follows Pooh around.
Kids are useless if they don’t have purpose. I know. I’ve seen it. If they aren’t given anything to do with themselves, they’ll find something to do — and depending on what that something is, it may just be trouble or bullying or calling each other names at the snack table.
I have formed a theory on these kids. And the theory is: they need to find ways to be kids again; and that is not going to be but here are some thoughts.
First, we need to reintroduce kids to creativity. They need to be reminded that it is OK to create things and then leave them be to create new things.
In our program, we have these themes we use daily. We call them, Meditation Monday, Trivia Tuesday, Writing Wednesday, Therapy Thursday, and Fun Friday. Maybe not the most creative names in the world but bear with us, we’re doing it.
Kids are used to themes. They see them in school all the time. They know what these things are, especially writing, and they hate them. They hate them with passion; until they’re forced to do them and then they realize that themes can be fun and meditation can actually relax you.
We’ve tried very strategic ways to engage the souls of our children over the last 6 weeks or so and found some similarities in their reactions.
- They love story time. On days where we sit and read together as a group, they are
locked in until the very last page. Wondering and wanting to be a part of something, even if it is just a book. 2. They are innocent. They act big and bad and tough at times but really, they are just
kids who want to just be kids, without the responsibility of heavy situations that cause
them angst. When we catch them in their element, they are there, bouncing around, playing games and hugging each other — calling it wrestling or touch football or whatever. 3. They are human. Our human souls are very very prone to connection. We want to
connect to something. We need to connect to something. And our kids are no different. They need and want to connect to something — even if that something doesn’t benefit them. We find that our kids are just like us, gravitating to what’s popular and “fitting” even if or until they realize that what they are attracted to hurts them, and maybe they need to find a new crew to hang with.
Our kids need balance. They need to be told what to do but in a manner they can receive it. They need to be loved and helped but also scorned when they are wrong. They need to be shown the way to being healthy and whole and responsible, but really, they just need to be shown that it’s ok to be a kid. It’s ok to mess up and have secrets and feel feelings that don’t always feel good. They need to know there is a teacher or adult who can react calmly to their mistakes or their woes without freaking out or making them feel as if what they’re doing is wrong.
They have that in our program. We try anyway. And the more we get to know them, the more we understand that the way we speak to them, is the way they’ll speak to us. And the way we treat them, is the way they’ll treat each other. It may take awhile, and we may not ever get to see the fruition but even if we’ve simply laid the foundation, we can be rest assured that they’ll somehow, someway, find their way back to a healthy, beautiful soul. Star-c Blog